


I'll Come Home

by boredomsMuse



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Altean lance, Gen, Lance and Coran are brothers, Lance is very confused, Lance's POV, Named Lander, Reborn Lance, So confused POV, because idk, for kinkmeme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 09:33:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9432980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boredomsMuse/pseuds/boredomsMuse
Summary: Since stepping out of the cyropod Lance has had the worst of headaches.  And he keeps having confusing thoughts, things that don't line up with what he should know.  Like, thinking he's known Allura for years, or realizing he can read the altean words scattered around the castle.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For this kinkmeme prompt: http://voltron-kink.dreamwidth.org/2091.html?thread=710187#cmt710187
> 
> I'm not too sure how happy i am with it but I am kinda proud and anyway I just hope I wrote what they were after

Blue likes to talk about her original paladin.  It’s something Lance has come to expect and accept, to enjoy even.  She’s kind about it, regaling Lance with stories only on the days when his insecurities don’t threaten to cut of his airways and drown him in the sea that is his incompetence.

 

But things have been different lately.

 

Where once the stories filled him with excitement, had him on the edge of her seat, his reactions are calmer now.  More akin to talking with Hunk about the adventures they’d gone on as children than hearing about the exciting life of a stranger.  They fill him with a nostalgic fondness, a cringiness at what he could’ve done better and how much his grown.

 

But that made no sense, because those stories _aren’t about him_.  They’re about an altean with hair a touch closer to orange than his is, with blue markings under bluer eyes, dressed in garb that reminds him of Coran’s outfit, and ears that would not have caused Allura’s reaction when she awoke.

 

So why does looking at him almost feel like looking in a mirror?

 

It’s sending him insane trying to figure it out.  If he’s not already insane, that is.  It could very well be that he’s lost his mind.  Lance blamed it on the cyropod.

 

* * *

 

Stumbling out of the cyropod he opened his eyes to a mostly empty room and a throbbing head.  It was strange; this room was never this empty?  A fog of confusion blanketed his mind as he barely managed to make it to the only group in usually busy medical bay.  They looked strange, small ears and no markings and what was going on?

 

“You guys having a clock party?”  He yawned, staring at them.

 

“Aw, Lance, you just ruined it!”  One of them said.  It took a moment for the name to register and by the time it had the name had been shouted again and he was being hugged by one of the weird looking people.  Squeezed seemed a more appropriate term actually, he was certainly this was in the list of ‘do nots’ that they gave out to anyone wanting to go into the medical bay.  Did these people not read that?  Not that he could judge, he sure didn’t read it.

 

The fog started lifting, just a little, and Lance wondered what the hell he was talking about.

 

“What happened?”  He asked, voice not all there as he looked to the only people that looked normal (except not?  Something felt off in his head) or more accurately he looked to the only person in front of him that looked normal, Coran.

 

“We can tell you all about it while you get something to eat.  Are you able to walk?”  Allura asked, patting his shoulder comfortingly.

 

“Talking?  Eating?  Are you asking me out on a date?”  That would be weird, he thought, they’d long since moved past the point when Lance had a crush on his princess.  Like years ago.  How unfair was it that’d she’d ask him out _now_.

 

Expect he hasn’t known Allura for years?

 

Lance really needed to shake this confusion.

 

The other three strange people seemed to think his comment was normal. 

 

Coran hadn’t said anything.  Lance wondered how badly he’d worried the other if he refused to even talk.

 

Maybe food would help the confusion fade.

 

* * *

 

Food did help.  Well, it helped Lance sort out where he was and what was happening and who he was with.  It did not, at all, help the throbbing in his head.

 

Even now, days later, the throbbing persisted.  He’d gotten used to it by now but it was still in the back of his mind, like a scratching on a brick wall that would not stop. 

 

The strange thoughts had persisted as well, just at a less mind consuming rate.  Lance had noticed he knew things he shouldn’t (for one, he had used quiznak correctly thank you very much Keith).  He’d noticed he acted different with Allura and Coran too.  His flirting with Allura had stopped completely and he sort Coran out more but he wasn’t sure why.

 

No, he was sure.  He sort Coran out to make sure the altean knew he was around, knew he was fine.  But that reason made zero sense to Lance.

 

Lance sighed and leaned back in the common room chair.  Thinking in his room wasn’t helping.  All his thoughts were clouded by the distractions in it.  Or not in it.  It felt like things were missing in his little corner of the ship, things unalike to his belongs on Earth.

 

The blue paladin groaned.  This sucked.  Why couldn’t his headache just fade and take with it these confusing thoughts. 

 

“Hey Lance!”  Hunk announced as he entered.  “Guess what I found?”  He was grinning as he held up a book.

 

“A book?”  Lance rose an eyebrow.

 

“It’s a photo album.”  Pidge explained, both sneaks settled onto the couch with him.  “It’s full of pictures of the previous Paladins.  Expect, strangely, the black paladin.”  Lance felt an ugly pool of betrayal hit him so hard he gasped and doubled over.  Like one of Blue’s tales, images filled his mind of a galran standing on the back of the black lion, a planet in disarray and ruin before him. 

 

Lance stumbled back as the galran turned as he saw Zarkon.

 

“Lance, buddy, you okay?”  Hunk’s voice broke through the memory, no, no, not memory this wasn’t a memory it couldn’t be he told himself.

 

“Fine, sorry, just uh… food goo, you know?”  He tried to rationalize.  Pidge and Hunk shared a look but neither pushed.  Instead they opened the album.

 

Everyone picture looked painfully familiar.  He couldn’t laugh along as Pidge and Hunk tried to place what was happening when the picture was taken.

 

“What have you three found?”  Shiro asked as he entered the room.

 

“Photo album.”  Hunk answered mindlessly.

 

“Did you ask?”  Shiro sighed, even as he came to look over their shoulders.  If Lance wasn’t in a moment of concentration, staring at the photos with a furrowed brow, he would’ve spoken up.  He didn’t.  Instead they all flicked through until Allura and Coran found them.

 

“Where did you all find that?”  Allura frowned.

 

“Uh, Pidge did it!”  Hunk quickly said, pointing to the offended looking green paladin.

 

“Don’t try to blame this on me Hunk!”  Pidge glared.  “You found it!”

 

“It’s alright paladins, we’re not mad.”  Allura quickly amended.  “Just surprised.”

 

“How come there isn’t any pictures of the black paladin in here?”  Hunk asked now that he was sure he wasn’t in trouble.  Allura and Coran shared a look as that bubbling betrayal swelled in Lance again.

 

“He was just a touch too camera shy.  Mostly took the pictures.”  Coran answered in his usual upbeat tone.  “Lance, are you alright my boy?”  He asked, switching the topic quickly.

 

“Fine.”  Lance said, too quickly much too quickly.  “I just uh, maybe I’m a little sick?  I’m going to go to bed.”  He left before anyone could protest, bumping shoulders with a sweaty Keith as he did.

 

“Lance?”  Keith frowned, watching Lance speed walk away.

 

“I’m fine.”  Lance quickly announced.  “Just need some rest.”

 

It was a decision he’d regret in the morning.

 

* * *

 

He wanted to fight.  He wanted to tear the galra apart for all they had done and all they were doing.

 

But King Alfor knew best.  And the boy had to agree that there wasn’t much they could do.  Yes, Alfor could fly the Black Lion but they’d still be down a Red Lion if he did that so they couldn’t form Voltron.  Which meant that hiding the lions, keeping them out of Zarkon’s reach, was the universes best hope.

 

The Blue Paladin still wasn’t very happy about it.

 

Neither was Coran.

 

“Perhaps Blue would give control to me.”  He offered.  “I could get her to safety and you could stay with Allura.”  The younger altean rolled his eyes.

 

“Coran, Blue’s _my_ lion and you know how picky she is.”  He reminded.  “Besides, King Alfor entrusted you with protecting the castle while we scatter the lions.  I think he’ll be mad if he calls and I pick up the phone.  I can’t do a good impression of you, I don’t have a moustache.”  He joked, twitching his nose slightly.

 

“Lander, please, you could be killed.”  Coran stressed.  The Blue Paladin sighed.  Coran had never once been happy about the younger being chosen by Blue.  At first Lander had assumed it was because King Alfor had crafted the lion with Coran in mind but as time went on and the injuries stacked up the boy realized the truth.

 

Every time Lander went in that lion there was a chance he wasn’t coming home and his big brother, the only family he had left, couldn’t handle that fear this time.

 

“I’ll be fine Coran.  It’s not like it’s my first battle zone.”  Coran flinched and Lander realized that probably hadn’t helped.  “I’ll come home, I promise.  As soon as I get Blue to a hiding spot I’ll send the castle a transmission and you can send me a shuttle.”  Coran didn’t look convinced and Lander forced a proper smile, not the faked confident ones he’d given his team and his king as they’d left (first, so they’d be chased and give Lander the best chance of leaving without getting caught.  Coran’s request he didn’t doubt).  “It’ll be fine brother.”

 

“I can’t talk you out of this, can I?”  It wasn’t really a question, not with the how defeated Coran sounded.

 

“Nope.”  Lander answered all the same.  “I’ll see you soon.”  He assured, slipping his helmet on (not the blue paladin armour, that was to be left on the castle, Alfor didn’t explain why.  He didn’t need to) to leave.  Before he could Coran brought the other into a firm hug. 

 

“I’ll see you soon.”  He didn’t sound anymore sure than Lander felt as he sat down in Blue’s pilot seat and flew from the castle, drones on his tail.

 

The thing was, King Alfor had ordered radio silence for this mission.  Any transmission could be tracked and if something could be tracked it could be followed and if they could be followed Zarkon could find the lions.

 

Lander knew as he raced far away from the castle that he was never going to see home again. 

 

Technically, if he landed on a planet far enough developed he could leave on a ship but Lander knew those would be the exact type of planets Zarkon would conquer quickly.

 

He almost couldn’t believe Zarkon was truly doing that.  Conquering planets.  Heart set on domination.

 

This person had been his friend, an idol, a teacher.

 

And now he was shooting at Lander.  Shit.  He couldn’t get mixed up in his thoughts.  Lander forced himself to focus on the matter at hand.  An incoming transmission appeared on the screen and despite the order for radio silence Lander answered. 

 

“Kind of in the middle of something Zarky, can you call back when you’re not being a big douche?”  He said, trying to stay more focused on dodging and keeping Blue flying than talking.

 

“Lander, join me.”  Zarkon responded.  “Fight by my side instead of running away like a coward.”

 

“Sorry, what was that?  Can’t hear you over the sound of these quiznaking lasers.”  Lander gave a moment to glare at Zarkon and it cost him as Blue was hit.  Wincing, he mentally cursed himself for answering.  He knew he sure as hell wasn’t going to be able to talk sense into Zarkon, so why did he want to?

 

“Think of all the good we can do Lander.  We can protect this universe, that is what Voltron is for is it not?”  Zarkon continued as though his army hadn’t just caused the altean extreme pain.

 

“There is a difference,” Lander began, voice a growl, “between protecting and controlling.  I will never join you.  No one will ever _willingly_ join you Zarkon.”  He spat.  The man was silent.

 

“Then I will take Voltron and I will find a new pilot for the Blue Lion.”  Zarkon stated, cold as he had been when he addressed them on that day. 

 

A terrifying thought accorded to Lander.  The Paladins of Voltron were as connected to each other as they were their own lion.  Even as the transmission shut out Lander couldn’t be sure he and Blue were capable of getting away without leaving a trail to follow. 

 

Blue purred softly in his mind.  A tone of sadness but of support too, of all the love she had for him and all he meant to her.

 

A goodbye. 

 

The wormhole was small and though the distance would be great it wasn’t too far that Lander could handle it (still, he was no Allura it wouldn’t be open for long). 

 

“It’s been awesome flying with you.”  Lance smiled, patting Blue’s controls.

 

He ejected himself from Blue as she flew through, following his orders even from the other side of the universe. 

 

The laser that tore him apart was hot as it blasted through his body.  His last thought was of Coran.  Maybe one day, Lander would be able to keep that promise.  The hopeful, impossible thought brought a smile to his face as he died.

 

* * *

 

Lance awoke with a scream.  No one came to his door, the walls were soundproof (for this very reason, he now remembered) but that was fine by him because Lance didn’t want to explain it to them.

 

He didn’t want to tell them he’d dreamed of his own death.

 

No, not his own, it wasn’t his own, it was Landers!  It was the previous Blue Paladin’s death not _his_.

 

But, no, because he didn’t know how the blue paladin had died so it couldn’t’ve _actually_ been his death.  It was just the shock from finding out Zarkon had been the Black Paladin, obviously, giving him illusions in the form of nightmares.

 

Expect he _hadn’t_ found out Zarkon had been the Black Paladin.  No one had _told_ him that.

 

Lance’s head throbbed.  He wanted the throbbing to stop.  He wanted to be able to understand what was happening.  On surprisingly unshaking feet he jumped from his bed and raced to the hanger.  Raced to Blue.

 

“Tell me how it happened Blue.”  He begged once he reached her.

 

 _‘You know how it happened my paladin.’_   She purred her thoughts in response, not quite words forming into an expression that didn’t make Lance feel any better.

 

“I can’t _know_ that Blue.  How would I be able to know that?!”  Lance fussed.  He began to pace, running his hands through his hair and trying to make sense of everything, hell _anything_ at this point.

 

‘ _Because you were there my child._ ’  She’d always called him that but he was older than her, if only by a little bit.  He was there when she was built.

 

No he wasn’t, no he wasn’t.  She was over ten thousand years old!

 

 _‘Calm yourself little one.  I was once a star, remember?  I am much older than that for even if I have changed I was here before I was this.  Just like you._ ’  How could he make so much sense of feelings of amusement and patience and intelligence when he couldn’t make sense of his own mind?

 

“What does that mean Blue?”  Lance whimpered, begging her to spell it out for him.  Begging to tell him what he already knew, he just couldn’t accept.  The giant meteor lion took pity on him.

 

‘ _It means, Lander, that you have crossed the stars and the years for us to be together once mean.  It means, Lance, that you are like me.  You are more than the physical form you currently have.’_   He wanted to scream because that didn’t make any sense!

 

Except it did.  Blue flooded his brain with a calming sensation, helped to clear his head, and Lance took a deep breath as his head stopped screaming at him and everything relaxed into a soothing calm.

 

Once upon a time Coran and Lander would sit in a swing and stare up at the stars, make constellations and tell stories while Allura and Alfor lay in the flowers.

 

Once upon a time Lander would chase Allura around the castle claiming he wanted to marry her and Coran would pick him up and apologize profusely for his actions to Alfor who would laugh.

 

Once upon a time Lander would hand Coran the wrong tools as he performed maintenance on the castle and tried (failed) to teach Lander how to do that maintenance.

 

Once upon a time Lander and Allura pretended to be on so in love to get that creep to stop looking at Allura like she was a piece of meat and so Allura wouldn’t beat him into the ground (not that he didn’t deserve it but Allura please, this is a royal gathering).

 

Once upon a time Lander looked up at a giant Blue Lion meant for Coran and felt at home for the first time since his grandfather’s passing.

 

Once upon a time Lander was part of a team that was betrayed and torn apart by one of their own.

 

Once upon a time Lance had been called Lander.

 

And he’d made a promise to Coran to come home.

 

The throbbing in his head stopped as though he tore that brick wall down and accepted the memories on the other side.

 

“Thanks Blue.”  Lance breathed, earning a purred chuckle in response.  Lance took a deep breath and left the hanger. 

 

Coran was in the control room.  So was Allura and Shiro but Lance paid them no mind as he moved to embrace the oldest altean left in the universe.

 

“Lance?”  Coran asked with a slightly confused frown.  He’d probably interrupted a conversation.  Oh well, this was more important.

 

“I’m sorry.”  Lance breathed against Coran’s shoulder.  “I’m so sorry.  I promised you I’d be safe and I’d come back but I didn’t.”  He felt Coran tense, could feel the confused looks he was no doubt getting from Allura and Shiro.

 

“Lance, what are you talking about?  You haven’t left?”  Shiro asked before Coran could find his words. 

 

“I did though.  Not like, not recently.  I left when I had to hide Blue and I promised Coran it’ be fine but then I died and that’s kinda the opposite of fine.”  Lance explained in a singular breath and maybe he should’ve started this better but the words were out now and the room was silent.

 

“Lander?”  Coran breathed, voice quiet and hopeful and Lance smiled, looked up at him with a grin.

 

“I’m home big brother.”  Coran’s arms wrapped around him and he let out a joyous laugh that Lance was all too happy to return.

 

“Lance… you’re… that makes so much sense.”  Allura said to their side, taking a hesitate step closer, eyebrows furrowed in heavy thought.

 

“The universe must’ve decided it hadn’t gotten enough of me yet.  Who can blame it, I mean really?”  Lance grinned.  Allura rolled her eyes but she smiled all the same.  Coran was more than happy to include her in the hug as Shiro watched in confusion.

 

There would be explaining to do but Lance didn’t care right now.  The throbbing in his hand had stopped and he was happy.  Lance had kept his promise.

 

He was home.


End file.
